After the birth of my last child the fog of my life was so thick I didn’t even realize how bad things were. I was lost in the haze of having a new born and 3 other young children, working full time in a demanding career and just trying to survive. In this time my health habits had hit an all time low. My reaction to every emotion was to suppress the feeling with food. This was how I coped. This was how I got through every day.
But even with that cloud over my head a little spark was there. It was there because during my ninth month of pregnancy, I was given the opportunity through work to attend a leadership training course put on by the University Of Denver’s business college. It included 3 days at a mountain camp and 3 on campus where we were focused on content like The Seven Habits, Blue Ocean Leadership and the Servant Leader. Though well known material, this was the first time I had been exposed to it in a light where this content was valued. I took a lot a way from the course, but I think the biggest thing I took away was a desire to learn more. More about self improvement. The lectures lit a fire in me to ingest more than the mindless content that had been carrying me through to this point.
But time was a precious resource of which I had little. Then someone suggested I listen to to books instead of read them. I downloaded Audible and I was hooked. My commute to work was 45 minutes one way and I started consuming new content. For the first time in a long time I started to think about my life, my habits, my motivation. I listened to the full book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in follow up to the class. I struggled at the time to have the desire to go back to work, because babies. The schedule was hard, home was hard. We were not thriving. I downloaded “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandburg and leaned hard into my career. The words and encouragement was like a guidebook to me. Things got a little easier. Then I listened to “Girl, Wash Your Face” By Rachel Hollis and I picked myself up and started to dust myself off. Next, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo and I started clearing the filth in my house and my head! Finally, one day while driving home craving sweets, willing myself home where I knew I could go in, grab a hand full of Halloween Candy and eat it, quickly satisfying the urge in my brain “to scratch that itch” I had an “aha” moment. It occurred to me this behavior was a habit, a bad habit that I had developed.
The next day, at the same time I felt the same need. I willed my self to stuff my face with cauliflower instead of candy. I crunched. I did it again the next day. Habits. Over and over it kept coming back to habits. I searched Audible for “habit formation”. I listed to “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Oh, the science of habit formation! Maybe I could change for the better. Next I listed to “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Mini Habits for Weight Loss” by Stephen Guise.
In my life I had tried every diet imaginable. From Weight Watchers to Keto and Whole 30 and everything in between. Each “diet” would work for a time, I would lose the same 15 lbs over and over again, each time gaining all of it plus an additions 3 or 4 back. In the end, I never changed my habits and immediately my old self would check back in. One slip up would turn into a 3 month bender and I would be back to square one, or worse.
Then one day while I was looking for a new book to listen to, Audible suggested I try “Bright Line Eating, The Science of Living Happy, Thin, and Free” by Susan Peirce Thompson.